Tales of a Sleep Deprived Mom.

Emi Sano
3 min readJan 30, 2023

Hi! Welcome. Come sit, have some coffee with me and let’s talk about what’s been going on in our lives.

I’ve officially hit the terrible twos. With that also comes this awesome stage of sleep regressions, tantrums, more teeth, night weaning (for those who are still nursing) and for some — potty training!

This has been a pretty fun ride. We’ve been learning a lot since he’s started walking and saying his first words. We are making sensical complete sentences and let me tell you I’m EXHAUSTED.

I was not expecting how much a toddler could say in one full day. And for the caregivers of toddlers with speech delays I know this might a struggle you wish you had. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but I’m very tired. I don’t know if I had mentioned before, but I am hard of hearing and usually am exhausted from auditory sensory overload by the end of the day. Adding on my toddler — you get the point.

I haven’t slept well in about two or three weeks. What is sleep at this point? My son has non-stop wanted to night nurse all night long or just need us to be nearby (aka bedshare). I got him to stop for a day or so but then we’re right back into it.

We have come to a time when we’re struggling with control. He wants more control. He wants to make his own choices. That also includes when he wants to go to sleep. And this, my fellow reader, is what is causing our main sleep regression. He obviously is tired. He tells me he wants to go to bed, but he will not fall asleep. We have to go through a list of songs to sing together and some books. By the time I can get him to fall asleep it is close to 11pm and then he’s running into my bedroom in two hours.

I think he knows we’re heading to the end of our nursing era. He seems to understand more when I say it’s gone and will result in whining for a bit before just laying his head down on me and falling asleep that way. I was fighting the bedsharing again since we’ve successfully had him transitioned into his own bed, but since he’s started potty training his need for comfort outweighed my need for uninterrupted sleep.

I can see some parents snickering or shaking their heads as they read that. You’re going to let your two year old push you over like that? Actually, yes, I am. Because I needs me to be there for him while he goes through his new lessons on life. While this may be an inconvenience it’s nothing but a small blip on our journey. I haven’t had a great night’s sleep in 2.5 years anyway.

I’m lucky I have a spouse who understands and even suggests having him come into bed with us full time again. Otherwise all this would be impossible to do.

And did you see me mentioning that he’s potty training? AT NEWLY TWO? He did this on his own. He told me “No more diapers, mama.” I tried to push it a couple more times and he was adamant, “NO.” So, since then he’s been wearing “big kid underwear” and running around in our home and going on the potty. To tell you the truth, I wasn’t expecting this for another year. But I’m not complaining, my diaper laundry has lowered. My washing machine is thanking me.

All this to say is, he’s newly two and he’s hitting all these milestones. I’m scared to see what he’s going to be doing next. But I am excited at the same time. I know this will mean more sleep deprivation, but nothing a pot of coffee can’t fix.

To my fellow sleep-deprived caregivers out there — hang in there. We’ll make it through.



Emi Sano

Emi Sano is a self-published author of “Voices: a short story collection” and YA novella “We Don’t Talk About That.” She freelances as a writer/blogger.