Let’s learn about the different types of play together!
I started out wanting to write this as a vent session for moms who are tired of being asked to PLAY by their toddlers. But then I decided to change it into a more informative article/discussion about types of play and what does that mean.
I’m the type of person to find out the reason behind some people’s motivations. Even though I am tired playing cars for the umpteenth time of the day, I do wonder what does my kid need from this? So today, I dug in.
Let’s start off with a list of “types of play” and then we’ll go into each. As I did my research I found that some only share three and sometimes up to ten different kinds of play with very little information. I will do my best to interpret each play type as I go. I am pairing some types together to shorten this up a bit.
- Solitary Play / Independent Play
- Onlooker Play / Parallel Play
- Group Play / Cooperative Play
- Physical Play / Constructive Play
- Competitive Play
Each section has their own “milestone” marker attached so don’t worry if your kiddo isn’t reaching a certain “play” stage just yet. All of this is to help us understand where our babies, toddlers, and little kids stand when it comes to play time. And maybe what they are seeking out of us when they ask us to play!
Before I start there is a “type” classified as “Unoccupied Play” and that is for 1 to 3 month old babies. They say that it is just them observing the world and themselves. Maybe looking at a stuffed animal or a person and engaging in that way. It may not “look” like they’re playing but it is helping them learn!
Solitary Play / Independent Play
So from birth to 2 years old it is completely normal for babies and toddlers to not engage in play with others around them. They are most often seen playing with a toy or engaged in an activity on their own. This helps them learn about their surroundings, their bodies and movements, and create some independence in their young stage of life. They also can learn about cause and effect from playing on their own (If I push this button a door will pop open).
Ways you can encourage is to buy toys that are push and pull style, musical instruments, stuffed animals, or books! This doesn’t mean they will want to do this on their own. Most of the times babies require help or would like you do explore with them. So if your baby is seeking help/engagement from you don’t be discouraged that they are not playing “independently”. Still encourage them to figure out a new toy as they are given and then proceed to provide guidance if needed.
On the flip side independent play could also continue on as they grow into preschool age and beyond. Some big kids like to play with their toys in “dramatic/imaginative play” by themselves and create a big story on their own.
Onlooker Play / Parallel Play
This starts around 2 years old.
So, I want to start off by saying: onlooker play is definitely my toddler right here. I was so worried about him not wanting to engage with other kids or even play near them. He was just happy as a clam to sit on my lap and watch them do their stuff. Now, I get it and I wish I looked it up sooner. So here’s some information on Onlooker Play.
Onlooker play means the toddler will observe other children playing and not engage in parallel play or cooperative play. Experts say to not feel discouraged about this as the toddler is still learning how to play by watching. They are building up their confidence and soon they will get up to play alongside their peers!
Parallel play is the next step to onlooker as the toddlers are still not engaging in play together, but playing alongside each other. This means one toddler may be playing with a car and another with a truck doing the same thing, but not together. You might think, wow they’re not playing together, and try to force them to do something together. Please don’t! They’re learning, they’re playing, they’re interacting by not interacting. It doesn’t make sense, but that’s a great social development milestone for your toddlers to meet.
You can encourage parallel play by having the same set of toys the toddlers can play with!
Group Play / Cooperative Play
When toddlers reach preschool age, around 3 years old, they more communicative, “normally” potty trained, and able to understand the concept of sharing and playing together. This is the start of group or cooperative play and their imaginations are running the show.
Group play allows the kids to learn to share and take turns as they play together. It also helps the kids learn how to come up with a common theme to play. Adults don’t need to intervene or come up with a “theme” unless there is a situation that requires an adult to step in, for example not sharing or taking turns with a toy properly.
Cooperative play and group play go hand in hand which is why I put these together. By 4 to 5 years of age kids have the sharing and taking turns down! That means they are able to work together in reaching a common goal (like building giant Lego tower) or playing with each other. Their communication and social skills will continue to blossom as they are able to learn to be more kind, have empathy, and compromise.
Parents/ Adults take note that even though they ask you to play with them it doesn’t not mean they want you to control the play. Let them tell you what to do. Let them work out their imaginations and show you how they perceive the real world in their form of “dramatic play”.
Physical Play / Constructive Play
Physical play involves body movement like running and playing tag, or throwing a ball. It can even be riding a bike/scooter or dancing to music! It doesn’t have to be a sport thing, but it does help with gross motor skills. These skills are important to have so that it can in turn help with the fine motor skills! Fine and gross motor skills work together!
So, to help encourage your littles in physical play its best to set them up with some balls, toys, ride on toys, or games to play! Bonus if you can do it outside. Extra bonus points if they can find something to climb!
Constructive play includes building and making something. So any blocks, legos, science kits, coloring/painting, or even cooking! Physical play can really help develop those gross motor skills so that the fine motor skills can be used during constructive play. This type of play also allows the littles be curious and take in their environment and what they are doing.
Competitive Play
Competitive play teaches the child about teamwork, hardwork, and sometimes how to lose. It’s not just sports, it can include board games as well. This helps the littles gain the life experiences and learn lessons on winning and losing.
If your little has strong feelings about either, it helps to talk about it in a calm setting and let them know their emotions are valid! Personally, we shouldn’t shame a kid on losing without grace, and you can show them how to handle and cope failure or defeat or even embarrassment by doing so yourself!
There are many more types of play than I listed above, but they all seem to overlap each other in some way shape or form. All this to day, I understand how you feel, dear parent, if you are like me and not wanting to step in and play along, but know that you are helping your baby/toddler/little kid learn and grow their confidence with each step of the way.
Children play to have fun but most importantly to learn! It may seem pointless at times when you have to continuously help pick up the dropped toy or deal with tantrums over a broken tower, but if we keep encouraging them to try again or find another way… soon you will see your child make the connection in real time.
— And that’s the most amazing feeling.
